Holding Space for Emotional Tornadoes

I find myself ready to embark on our 16th move—yes, you heard me right—16! I count 16 houses where I lived before calling them "home" in 35 years, but my husband had only lived in 6 places, including his childhood home, before we tied the knot. Our two children, who are 11 and 14 years old, have faced many emotional challenges in the past. Now, as we prepare to move a mere 10 minutes away to our potential forever home, we’re all feeling a mix of excitement and the kind of emotions that could fill a soap opera.

Remembering the Last Move—A Comedy of Errors

Let’s take a moment to reminisce about our previous moving experience, which turned into a hilarious disaster that made me briefly consider cashing in on my husband's life insurance policy. Picture this: we were left staring at a massive pile of boxes because our movers decided to pull a disappearing act at the last minute, leaving us with no alternate plans. It was like a bad magic trick, but without the applause. We had to drain our savings while waiting for our deposit to be returned. And, of course, it was the week before Christmas, so all our friends were busy with family commitments—because who wouldn’t want to spend the holidays with their loved ones instead of helping us lift heavy furniture?

Just when we thought we were doomed, our friend’s sons swooped in like superheroes, ready to rescue us from our moving crisis. They showed up with energy drinks and a willingness to help pack, proving that sometimes, all you need is a little caffeine and a lot of heart. A few hours into loading our U-Haul, it began to rain. Because, of course, what’s a moving day without a little added drama? And to top it all off, we had 15 stairs to navigate just to get anything from our townhome. It felt like icing on the cake—if the cake were a soggy mess of cardboard boxes and soggy spirits!

We discovered at check-in that our hotel didn't allow dogs, which was my oversight. My husband had big plans to stay home with our dogs, enjoying the luxury of an air mattress. However, our 70-pound lap dog had different plans. At 11:30 PM, in a moment of canine genius, he took a running leap and popped the air mattress like a balloon at a child's birthday party. So, there I was, embarking on a late-night rescue mission to save my husband—because honestly, we all needed some rest, and I couldn't let him become a human pancake!

Meanwhile, our poor dogs were left alone in the house for 6.5 hours that night, blissfully unaware that the hotel didn’t welcome their furry charm. I tried to set them up with toys and a cozy spot, but the guilt lingered like a bad smell. I could practically see their furry faces, wide-eyed and confused, wondering why we’d abandoned them. It was as if I could hear them whispering to each other, plotting an elaborate revenge scheme involving the couch cushions and a particularly interesting pair of my shoes. I mean, who wouldn’t want to chew on an expensive tennis shoe after being left alone for so long?

I’ll never forget the day we began the drive to our new home with the U-Haul through what felt like the world’s strongest winds. My husband was bravely wrestling that 26-foot beast while our car attempted a dramatic escape from the tow dolly—clearly auditioning for a role in a Fast and Furious movie. Amid the chaos, we kept reassuring ourselves, “This will be over soon”—spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Our movers decided to pull a disappearing act again when it was time to unload, leaving us to channel our inner superheroes. Thankfully, with a little help from family and friends, we managed to wrap up the whole ordeal. I remember telling my husband, “Next year, we’ll look back at this and laugh!” But let’s be honest—we’re still waiting for that punchline! Maybe it’ll come with a side of dog hair and a shoe-shaped chew toy!

Tackling the ADHD Burnout and Procrastination

As I prepare for our upcoming move, I find myself struggling to overcome procrastination and burnout from the earlier home-buying steps. I tend to be the more organized one of us, but even I have my limits. The massive stack of paperwork paired with endless "to-do" lists creates an overwhelming sensation that feels like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. This week, I’ve been operating at minimal capacity, like a smartphone with 2% battery life—just enough to keep the screen on but not enough to actually do anything productive.

When that burnout hits, it’s easy to sit paralyzed, staring blankly at the piles of boxes and thinking, “I’ll tackle this later.” Spoiler alert: The phrase "I'll do it later" results in increasingly larger piles over time, like a game of Tetris gone wrong. The moment I decide to start packing, my thoughts scatter in 100 directions. I organize kitchen utensils, and suddenly, I’m deep in thought about next week’s meals or unearthing a forgotten book tucked away in a corner, which leads to a mini existential crisis about how I still haven’t read that novel from three summers ago. I feel overwhelmed and frustrated because this is a repeated struggle between me and my thoughts. If I struggle this much as an adult with the skills and knowledge to manage my emotions, I can’t help but feel a surge of empathy for my kids. They’re basically navigating a maze while I’m just trying to find the exit myself!

Holding Space for My Kids

Every time I start packing, my brain goes in a million different directions. One minute, I’m sorting through kitchen gadgets, and the next, I’m daydreaming about what I’m going to cook next week or stumbling upon an old book I forgot about. It’s like a chaotic whirlwind in my head, and honestly, it can be super overwhelming. This whole experience really makes me think about how tough it can be to juggle intentions and distractions. And then I realize that if I, as an adult who’s supposed to have it all together, struggle with this, it makes me feel for my kids even more. Their challenges are probably way bigger, so it’s a good reminder for me to be patient and understanding as they navigate their own emotional ups and downs.

Making Room for Feelings While Procrastinating

As I navigate my procrastination—who doesn't enjoy a Netflix binge while pretending to be productive?—I strive to create a nurturing environment for my kids. We're focusing on emotional growth during this "extended spring break" instead of strict academics. Think of it as a spa day for their feelings, minus the cucumbers and soothing music.

We're fostering a safe space for them to express emotions and learn to let go of things beyond our control, like that pesky sock that disappears in the laundry. Seriously, if that sock had a life of its own, it would be living in the Bahamas by now! This journey, even if it leads to the couch with popcorn, emphasizes love and laughter. We prioritize emotional well-being over an ever-growing to-do list, celebrating connection with hugs, jokes, and ice cream during family movie nights. Because nothing says "we're emotionally healthy," like a scoop of chocolate fudge with a heartfelt conversation! Here are a few ideas to incorporate into your home if you need them!

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1. Create a "Feelings Zone"

In our new home, we plan to establish a comfortable "Feelings Zone" space. Picture this: bean bags for seating that will probably swallow you whole, soft pillows that may or may not be used as projectiles during family debates, and a wall decorated with mood emojis—because nothing says “I’m feeling blue” like a giant sad face staring back at you. This space will serve as our judgment-free sanctuary to express feelings openly. Just remember, if you accidentally sit on a bean bag and disappear, it’s not a sign of emotional distress; it’s just the bean bag’s way of saying, “Welcome!”

2. Pack One Box Early—No Pressure

We will begin packing by selecting one box filled with joy-sparking items like family photos and sentimental mementos. Think of it as a treasure hunt, but instead of gold doubloons, you find embarrassing childhood pictures and that one trophy for “Best Couch Potato.” This activity will serve as both a packing session and an opportunity to create lasting memories together. It enables us to accept all the feelings linked to moving away from any location, even if our destination is just a few blocks away. Who knew packing could be a time to reminisce about that time Uncle Bob tried to grill and almost set the backyard on fire?

3. Become an Emotion Detective

Let’s make exploring emotions fun by turning it into a game! The "Emotion Detective" activity involves selecting emotions from our chart and then talking about how they might look. It’s like being Sherlock Holmes, but instead of solving crimes, you’re figuring out why your kid just stared at the wall for 20 minutes, contemplating the meaning of life—or maybe just the last episode of their favorite show. Asking children if anxiety leads them to bite their nails or pace around helps foster a comfortable atmosphere where they can express their feelings without feeling any pressure. Just remember, if they start talking about how happiness makes them dance like nobody’s watching, you might want to join in—unless you’ve got two left feet, in which case, just stick to your role as the detective and avoid the dance floor at all costs!

4. Celebrate the “Little Wins”

In our family, emotional expression is a mix of therapy and Broadway! When my 14-year-old says, “I’m feeling nervous about this move,” we skip the deep talk and turn up the music, transforming the kitchen into a dance floor. Nothing says “Great job expressing yourself!” like a spontaneous kitchen rave, complete with awkward dance moves that could win an award for Most Creative Use of Space. Who knew a little nervousness could spark a conga line of support and some spills? It’s our way of saying, “We’ve got your back, and we’ll dance through the awkwardness together!” Just remember to keep the mop handy for those dance-off accidents!

5. Normalize Procrastination as Part of the Process

Let’s face it: procrastination is basically my middle name. If there were an Olympic sport for putting things off, I’d be the reigning champion! Thank you, ADHD. Let me share my own epic battles with procrastination and burnout. For example, I thought organizing my closet was a more pressing task than, you know, packing my entire life into boxes. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. The key takeaway here is that feeling low on motivation during a big transition is as normal as finding a sock that mysteriously lost its partner. So, let’s focus on what we can control—like setting realistic goals—while we let go of the uncontrollable chaos of moving. Remember, if life throws unexpected obstacles at you, just throw a box back! (Preferably one that’s already packed.)

6. Take Breaks Together

Packing is like running a marathon—if marathons involve a lot of cardboard and very little actual running. To survive this packing adventure, we’re making “breaks” our secret weapon! Picture this: after conquering a certain number of boxes, we’ll reward ourselves with family fun time—think movie nights where we eat popcorn like it’s a food group or board game tournaments where everyone pretends to be competitive while secretly just wanting to eat more snacks. Moving is hard work, but we must remember to sprinkle in joy like confetti. Because if we can’t find happiness in the chaos, we might just end up hugging a box instead!

7. Embrace the Small Joys During Transition

Just because we’re moving doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun! A ten-minute drive is basically a road trip, right? So why not kick off our new adventure with a “housewarming picnic” right in the living room? On day one, we’ll spread out a blanket, share our favorite snacks, and play games that will surely lead to laughter—and maybe a little friendly family rivalry. These small moments of joy will help us turn our new house into a home, one snack at a time. After all, if we can’t find happiness in the little things, we might just have to resort to using packing tape as a stress ball!

Finding the Silver Linings

We are actually enjoying this process, and it's so much better than the last. Everything is falling into place.

Throughout this journey, we should continuously look for the positives. Our realtor mentioned earlier that our buying process has been progressing smoothly. Upon hearing this, I felt a surge of hope as I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes, things just work out, but it was a great experience!

During the preparation for our next adventure, which we hope will become our permanent residence, we’re not simply packing boxes. Oh no, my friends! We’re constructing an emotional bridge filled with laughter, love, and the occasional misplaced socks or long-missing fork. We acknowledge there will be challenges ahead, like figuring out which box holds the remote control, but we stand prepared to face them as one—armed with snacks and a questionable amount of caffeine.

Conclusion

Let's celebrate fresh starts while embracing the chaos of packing and creating unforgettable family memories. Our journey will include emotional highs and lows as we tell funny stories and celebrate moving victories together. For example, at that time, we almost lost the cat in the moving truck. Spoiler alert: She was hiding in a box labeled "fragile!"

Our journey holds more value in the chaotic moments we create than in reaching our final destination. We make decisions about things we can influence (like what pizza toppings to order) and release control over things we cannot (like why the universe decided to put our favorite mug in the box labeled "Christmas decorations"). Let’s fully experience every part of this journey—complete with bubble wrap popping and laughter echoing through the halls. Let's embark on this journey to discover our new permanent residence. 🏡💖✨

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